Empty Feeling
by I Love Yaoi And Always Will
Summary: Warning yaoi and lemon don't like don't read. BIG SURPRISE IN CHAPTER 3. its cute. major twist in chapter 5! it just randomly came to me as i was typing. r&r plz. btw, niwa, hiwatari, riku, and risa are twenty.
1. Chapter 1

After Dark finally left my body, I seemed to feel empty. I never told anyone about it. I never even told Riku. I don't know why I didn't tell Riku. I should have. She would have done everything in her power to make me feel better. I found myself wandering the streets aimlessly every night. I would walk past all of the clubs and eventually would enter one of them. I would sleep with random strangers just to numb my pain.

One night while I was wandering the streets, I came across Hiwatari-kun. I walked over to him. "Hiwatari-kun, is that you?"

He looked over at me. HIs eyes were bloodshot and I could see the pain in his eyes. "Yes, Niwa-kun, it's me."

"What's wrong, Hiwatari-kun?"

Hiwatari-kun chuckled. He turned his head away. He whispered something that I couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry, Hiwatari-kun, I couldn't hear you."

He kept his head turned away. He whispered, "I'm in love with someone who is in love with someone else. It hurts to know the person you love will never love you back." just loud enough that I could here him.

"Who is it, Hiwatari-kun?"

Slowly, Hiwatari-kun's whole face turned pink. "It's you, Niwa-kun..."

I opened my eyes wider in surprise. "W-what? A-are you sure, Hiwatari-kun?"

He looked up into my eyes. "I'm sure, Niwa-kun. And I'm sorry I wasted your time. I'm sure you need to get home to Riku-san." He got up and started to leave.

I silently grabbed his hand as he started walking. He turned back to me. Blushing, I silently turned and started to pull him with me. I took him to a hotel and I got a room. I led Hiwatari-kun up to the room, led him inside, and locked the door. I sat down on the bed and Hiwatari-kun sat next to me. We sat their in silence, both of us blushing.

I sighed and looked at Hiwatari-kun. "Hiwatari-kun, I love you, too." I spoke very quietly.

Hiwatari-kun looked at me and smiled. Silently, he leaned over and kissed me. I kissed him back. When he finally broke the kiss, we were breathing heavily. I looked at Hiwatari-kun. We started to kiss again. As we kissed, we slowly laid down, Hiwatari-kun on top of me. He moved his hands to the buttons on my shirt and slowly undid them. He slipped my shirt off and moved down to my pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and slowly slipped them off. Then I took off his shirt and pants for him. Together, we took each other's underwear off. That night, for the first time in years, I was truly happy.

I woke up in the morning and Hiwatari-kun was gone. He didn't leave a note, he was just gone. I got up, put my clothes on and walked over to the bridge I had sat on with Hiwatari-kun so many times. Last night had made my numb feeling go away. Unfortunately, it caused my pain to come back. I looked over the bridge into the water. I closed my eyes and jumped into the cold water. I felt the cold closing in on me. As I floated down, I opened my mouth and let the water flow down my throat and into my lungs. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Hiwatari-kun screaming, "I will always love you, Niwa-kun!!"


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke later in the day on the day I jumped off the bridge to the sound of muffled talking and the feeling of someone squeezing my hand. I opened my eyes and looked around. I realized I was in a hospital room. Riku was sobbing in Risa-san's arms on one side of the room. My mom, dad, and grandpa were sitting looking very worried on the other side of the room. Suddenly a thought entered my mind: If Riku was crying on one side of my room and my family was on the other side, then who was holding my hand? I looked over in the direction where the person holding my hand had to be. I felt my face grow red when I saw that it was Hiwatari-kun.

He was half-asleep sitting there and he had his eyes closed. His grip on my hand was so strong but at the same time, gentle. I squeezed his hand in return to his grip. He opened his eyes quickly and looked over at me. He blushed when he saw me staring at him.

"Niwa-kun. Are you feeling okay?" He asked me after a moment of silence.

"Yes, Hiwatari-kun. I feel fine. I'm very tired and my head hurts though."

No sooner had I gotten out my reply had my mom, grandpa, dad, Risa-san, and to my slight dismay, Riku walked over and were smiling and crying.

"Dai-chan! You're awake!" My mom practically squealed, she was so happy.

"How are you holding up, kiddo?" My dad asked trying to sound like he hadn't been crying for hours, although it was obvious.

"I'm doing okay. My head hurts, and I'm tired."

Riku, Risa-san and grandpa just stood and stared at me.

A doctor came in and told them that I could go home anytime I wanted to and that I was okay and I should just take it easy for a week or two. My dad helped me up and into the car. We dropped Risa-san, Riku, and Hiwatari-kun off on our way home. When we got home, dad helped me out of the car and into the house. They made me lay on the couch when we got into the house. I turned to my dad when no one else was in the room. "Dad, could you do me a favor?"

My dad left after I told him what the favor was. As I dialed the phone to ask Risa-san, Riku, and Hiwatari-kun to come over next week, I heard my dad leave the house.

A week later, my dad came into my room and gave me a bag and told me it was what I wanted him to get me. I thanked him and he left.

Three days later, Risa-san, Riku, and Hiwatari-kun walked in the front door and I called my mom, dad, and grandpa into the room.

Risa-san, dad, grandpa and Riku looked at me.

My mom asked, "What is it, honey?"

"Well, um... I don't really know how to say this..."

"What's wrong, honey? Are you okay? Should you have stayed in the hospital longer?" My mom said worriedly.

"No, it's not that mom..."

"Then, what is it? You're giving us all heart-attacks, Dai-chan!" Riku said a little more loudly than I think she meant to.

I closed my eyes and thought about how to tell them the truth about my 'falling' off that bridge. I breathed in and out slowly. I breathed in the wonderful scent of Hiwatari-kun sitting next to me. I loved his scent. It wasn't cologne. Even after he was running around or sleeping, he smelled that way. He never stopped smelling that way. Even after a shower. It was just Hiwatari-kun's scent. And it is impossible to describe. It's just pure and simply Hiwatari-kun. I slowly opened my eyes and said, "Mom, dad, grandpa, Risa-san, Riku, Hiwatari-kun, I wanted to tell you the truth about how I fell off the bridge."  



	3. Chapter 3

"All I ask from all of you is that you listen all the way through without interrupting me. It's gonna be hard enough for me to tell you this without you guys getting mad and interrupting me." I said slowly and everyone nodded. "Okay, so, last night, I was walking and I came across Hiwatari-kun... Then we were talking and he told me he loved me. As he went to leave, I grabbed him and took him... to a hotel. I told him I love him too and then we slept together..." Mom, grandpa, Risa-san, and Riku gasped. "When I woke up in the morning, Hiwatari-kun wasn't there and I thought he lied to me about loving me just to get me to sleep with him... So I got dressed and left. I was standing on the bridge crying and I didn't want to deal with the pain... So I just... jumped..." I finished and wondered how long it would be before they all kicked Hiwatari-kun out.

My dad found his voice first. "Hiwatari-kun," Oh god, here it comes. "you weren't lying when you said you loved my son just to get him in bed, were you?"

Hiwatari-kun lowered his gaze to avoid my dad's eyes. "No, I wasn't lying. I sincerely, deeply, truly love your son, Niwa-san."

Dad shook his head. "Okay then. Emiko-chan, Risa-chan, Riku-chan, dad, what do you say we give them a minute to talk alone?"

Riku lost it. "Why should we let Hiwatari-kun be in the room alone with Dai-chan? Hiwatari-kun's the reason Daisuke jumped off a bridge!! He doesn't deserve Daisuke! I'm the one who really loves Daisuke!!"

My dad took Riku by the shoulders and made her look up at him. "We all know you love Dai-chan. But Hiwatari-kun also loves him. You just have to accept that Daisuke will love whoever he loves. He can't help how he feels. If he doesn't love you, you just have to accept it."

Riku was crying and sobbing into dad's chest by now. He was holding her tightly trying to calm her down. "Daisuke! You love me, right? You don't love that asshole Hiwatari-kun, do you?" Tears filled my eyes and I avoided Riku's persistent gaze. She looked at me in shock. "You really do love him and not me, don't you."

"Riku, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but, I couldn't tell anyone that I really loved Hiwatari-kun all along. I was afraid of losing my family because I loved him. I'm sorry, Riku. I tried to love you instead of Hiwatari-kun. I just couldn't..."

Riku started sobbing full force into my dad's chest. He hugged her and my mom walked over and said, "We should really give Dai and Hiwatari-kun some time to talk. Let's go, honey." Mom and grandpa walked out of the rooom, my dad following as he held Riku who was still sobbing. Risa shot one last worried look at me before following them out of the room.

I looked up at Hiwatari-kun. "I love you so much, Hiwatari-kun. I would die to save you."

He smiled down at me. "I love you, too, Niwa-kun. I will always be here to protect you. You will never be alone as long as I'm here." He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine.

For awile, Hiwatari-kun and I just sat there in silence. Hiwatari-kun leaned down and placed a soft, gentle, loving kiss on my forehead. "Niwa-kun, I really do love you."

"I love you, too, Hiwatari-kun." I gently kissed Hiwatari-kun's pale lips. We broke the kiss and smiled at each other. "Hiwatari-kun?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Yes, Niwa-kun?"

"Can our wedding be in April?"

"Niwa-kun, are you asking me to marry you?"

"No, I'm asking you if our wedding can be in April." I got up slowly, ignoring Hiwatari-kun saying "You shouldn't be up on your feet," many times. I got down on one knee. Hiwatari blushed. I pulled a little ring box out of the pocket of my jacket. "_Now _I'm asking you to marry me." I opened the box to reveal a beautiful gold band with a black jewel and a white jewel surrounded by two gold wings. "Hiwatari Satoshi, will you marry me?"

Hiwatari-kun stood and blushed in silence for awhile. Then he smiled and took me by the hand and pulled me to my feet. He gently lowered his lips to my own and kissed me. He pulled away. "Yes, Niwa Daisuke, I will marry you." I smiled the widest, most genuine smile I had smiled since Dark left my body. "I have just one question, Niwa-kun."

"What's that, Hiwatari-kun?"

"Where'd you get the ring? Have you been planning this for a long time?"

"That's two questions. But anyway, after I got home, I asked my dad to go get me a ring for you. I told him what I wanted it to look like and he said he would get someone to make it special for me. He got it three days ago and gave it to me. So, to answer your other question, I've been planning this since the day I came home."

"Only for a week and a half? Are you sure you want to marry me?"

"Yes, Hiwatari-kun, I'm sure. I love you." I kissed his slightly pink cheek.

"And by the way, you can call me Satoshi now. We're engaged."

"Okay, Satoshi-kun. And you can call me Daisuke, of course."

"All right then, Daisuke-kun." I closed my eyes and slowly, Satoshi-kun and I leaned together and our lips met gently in a passionate kiss. We pulled apart and smiled at each other. I heard the door open and mom, dad, grandpa, Risa-san, and Riku walked in.

I smiled brightly at them all. "Everyone, I have asked Satoshi-kun to marry me."

Satoshi-kun cut in, "And I have said yes to his proposal."

Mom, dad, and grandpa all hugged us, and gave us their congratulations. Riku and Risa-san just stood looking at me as though I was the worst person in the world. Riku started crying and ran from the room. Risa-san shot a very dirty look at me and ran off after Riku.

I was going to go after them but Satoshi-kun grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, "They'll be fine. Just let them go. We can find them later."

I nodded in agreement. I returned to the talk of the wedding that was going on. Mom was going on and on about how much fun she and Towa, who was grocery shopping, will have planning the wedding. Dad had pulled Satoshi-kun aside and was telling him that if he hurt me dad and grandpa would hunt him down and torture then murder him. Grandpa was simply listening to the talk and smiling. I was thinking about how much I must have hurt Riku. All of a sudden, my mom jumped on me and threw her arms around my neck.

"Hey, Dai-chan?" She asked perkily. "Can I please be the flower girl? When I was little I always dreamed of being a flower girl."

I giggled. "Of course you can, Mom."

She jumped into the air happily. Satoshi walked over to me and smiled. "That was nice. You really made your mom's day."

"Yeah, it did make her day. And it's not like we have anyone else to be the flower girl."

The door swung open and in the doorway stood Risa-san.

She looked at me worriedly. "Niwa-kun, I have something to tell you."


	5. Chapter 5

I walked over to Risa-san. "What's wrong, Risa-san?"

"It's Riku, Niwa-kun..."

"What's wrong with Riku?"

"She... she's pregnant." Risa-san whispered to me.

My heart stopped and my blood ran cold when I heard those words come out of Risa-san's mouth. "Sh-she's _what_?"

"She wanted me to tell you. She's pregnant."

"B-but, we never..." Then it hits me. One night we were a little drunk and we had slept together. I was engaged to Satoshi-kun and suddenly Riku tells me she's pregnant. I couldn't believe it.

"She says it's yours."

"It is. I remember the only time we slept together. It was like three months ago though. She's already three months pregnant? And she just told me because I left her for Satoshi-kun. Well, if she didn't tell me until she was gonna lose me, she doesn't deserve to have anyone. She should have told me when she found out. I deserved to know as soon as she did. She just told me now so that I wouldn't stay with Satoshi-kun and I would get back together with her. That was really selfish and you can tell her I said that!!"

Risa-san looked at me. "Niwa-kun... she wants you back. She loves you. She wanted to tell you two months ago, but she didn't want you to feel worse than you had been feeling. She caught onto the fact that you were depressed. And the fact that you didn't love her. You're not very hard to read, Niwa-kun. She wanted to try to get you to love her again before she told you. I know she's sorry."

"Yeah, well, tell her I'm staying with Satoshi-kun. I'm not ruining my relationship with the only person I ever loved. I'm happy for the first time since Dark left my body."

Risa-san nodded. "I understand, Niwa-kun. I'll tell her you're staying with Hiwatari-kun. She'll understand if I explain it to her. I'm sorry she made me just spring this on you right after you announced your engagement. That was really mean of her. But, I had to listen to her because she would hate me and I couldn't deal with my sister hating me." She turned to leave. "I really am sorry Niwa-kun." She left without another word.

Satoshi-kun walked over to me. "What did she want to tell you?"

"She wanted to tell me that Riku is pregnant."

"Oh well. Our engagement was fun while it lasted." He started to take his engagement ring off.

I stopped him. "Don't take your ring off. I'm not leaving you for her just because she is pregnant. She should have told me when she found out instead of after I left her. She just wanted me to leave you for her. I don't love her, so I'm not going to pretend I do."

"But Daisuke-kun, you have to be a part of your child's life."

"I know, and I will be. I'll ask Riku for visitation. I want to be with you. I want to know my kid, but I would hate myself forever if I let you go."

"Okay."

Everyone looked over at me. "Honey, what did Risa-chan want?" Mom asked me.

I sighed. "She wanted to tell me that apparently, Riku is pregnant. But before anyone says anything, I'm still marrying Satoshi-kun."

My grandpa looked up. "No, you're not. You have to marry Riku-chan and raise your child."

"I'm not leaving Satoshi-kun! I love him and I would never forgive myself if I didn't stay with him!"

"But what about Riku-chan and the baby. They need you."

"I don't care. Riku only told me so I'd get back with her! She's three months pregnant! She's know for like 2 months! She should have told me when she found out, not as an after thought after I left her!"

My dad had been silent since I said Riku was pregnant. But then out of the blue, he broke his silence. "If Dai-chan wants to be with Satoshi-kun, he is allowed to be with Satoshi-kun. He can't fight who he loves. If he doesn't love Riku-chan, he shouldn't pretend he does. Besides, it's better for them to not get back together for the baby than for Dai-chan to cheat on Riku-chan with Satoshi-kun and then they get divorced. Believe it or not, divorce is harder on kids than their parents never being together."

"Dad, thanks for sticking up for me." I said and smiled.

Dad chuckled. "No problem, kiddo. You deserve to be happy. Besides, you were right, Riku should have told you as soon as she knew. If she had told you, you would probably be married to her already."

"You're right, I would be married to her now because I never would have run into Satoshi-kun and rekindled my love for him."

Riku walked into the room. "Niwa-kun, I love you. But I know you really love Hiwatari-kun. I'm not going to try to interfere with you two anymore. I'm sorry."

I walked over to Riku. "It's okay, Riku." I hugged her gently. "Do I still get to see the baby? I really don't want to leave it without a dad. I want to be a part of it's life, if only a small part."

"Of course you can see it, Niwa-kun. I would never keep your child from you." Riku hugged me again.


End file.
